So This is Christmas

That's a good line: So this is Christmas. Kind of suggests looking at it clearly, with new eyes. I consider that a balance to tradition. It's the only way to keep tradition or anything repetitive alive and fresh. So this is it--and what is it? So far this year it's been a drizzly end to the year. That I can wear my Tevas to yoga class without losing any toes is interesting. I'm thinking I'll add a slew of "White Christmases" to the line-up as a sort of snow dance, invoking a good blanket of the white stuff to cover up the ground and create a blank slate for this Christmas season. But if it doesn't snow, then that's Christmas, too.  Days are definitely shorter, darker, if not too much colder. So this is Christmas.

I've been up since about 3:15. I haven't had this kind of insomnia in quite awhile, and I don't have any particular stimulus I can think of to attribute it to. Must be this blog, which, by the way, I do for no apparent reason other than I like doing it. The challenge of putting together some semi-coherent thought from the chaotic soup of recycled chunks in my brain feels good. "How do I know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it." Thanks Mr. Faulkner. That rings true.

So I chose the Boy George, Antony Hegarty cover of Lennon's tune today. The YouTube clip images are heavy on the sentimentality; the war images of the other clip might have been more moving, but this is the only holiday tune I could find with the provocative voice of Antony. I don't know what to make of the "war is over if you want it" refrain. It is hopeful. I'd like to think it's that easy, but admit I don't really know. I did a dilettante's perusing of Wikipedia on the theories behind why we have wars. The usual suspects were there: it's in our genes, limited resources, a need to dominate. There were other stories out there about societies that are not warrior like. I put some of the authors' names on my reading list, but I don't know if I'll ever get to them. I believe our current war is of the perpetual resource-grabbing keep the masses under control variety. I don't buy much of the ideological excuses given for it. Someone out there is beating the drum and profiting nicely when most of us start marching to it.

I want to believe that we humans can evolve past this--that we see when we create suffering for others we create suffering for ourselves. Still, Buddhism's been around for thousands of years and suffering continues. And yet, I'm a tempered optimist. Surely the majority of us can develop our empathy and compassion, and can come to be aware of the energies that pull us toward violence and ignorance and refrain from acting on them. On a personal level I'm learning to let go of some attachment to my thoughts and emotions--learning that they are important functions of my brain and body, but not always indicators of ultimate reality. I hope I am learning to step back, at least some time, and view a bigger picture. At the very least, we may not be kittens who give hugs to rats, but we can recognize our own self-interest in having a stable, sustainable world both politically and physically in which to live.

My alarm clock just went off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0lEy-duuIg