"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle."I'm the kind of person who makes the same mistake twice. More than twice, sometimes, not even knowing it's a mistake until there can be no mistake about it. On the bright side, it's this propensity for error that fosters a sense of compassion for my fellow human beings. Truly, we're all in this together, folks. I'm at peace with this humanness this morning, sipping a brew that's half coffee half cacao with a little evaporated milk because I was out of coconut milk creamer and in spite of the fact that I still intend to consume less dairy and doubly in spite of the fact that consuming dairy is the least of my faults. It was a tough call on the video clip for today. I chose Tom Waits in part to carry on with the edgy "Christmas in Prison" thing I had going on, and also because it felt right for the moment. I know, I know, at first glance it seems harsh and contradictory to the "true" meaning of the season, but look again. There it is, the beating heart of another human being just as trapped in his/her illusions as you and I are, reaching out to Charlie like we reach out to Jesus, yoga, Buddhism, or the listening ear of a friend. Now I've gone and made it all too serious. Sorry, Tom, to have done that to your brilliantly crafted performance. I wish I had your light touch.
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Yup. I'm at peace this morning, listening to the rain and a few cars slooshing by in the dark. My daughters fell asleep on the couch last night watching, I think, episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress." Dreaming of their wedding days? Where did that come from? I've tried to be a good feminist mom and encourage pursuit of abilities and inner strength and independence, but I'm looking at this in dim light, I suppose. Maybe the real desire in their hearts is connection and relationship. I could wish for nothing less than the same for them. Kayla is full-fledged teenager now and my relationship with her is complicated. It brings up fears and a feeling of lack of control in myself that I did not anticipate. There's a place to devote some daily attention. Sometimes compassion is easier with strangers and mere acquaintances than with those closest to me. I hope to look at this in the next two weeks where I don't have the refuge of work or other demands to my time--to look at her, her, her.
All right, this is most likely the last paragraph for today, so how do I tie all this together, the quotes, the song, the musings? Miracles are nothing special and for that reason we fail to see them. The miracle is in Kayla becoming who she is and not who I projected her to be. The miracle is in the mind of a talented performer reminding me of my common humanity with hookers, drug addicts, corporate crooks, but maybe also the likes of the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa. The miracle is in making the same mistake a thousand times but not succumbing to despair. Rather, I learn compassion and patience for THIS human being. It's the only way I'll wake up. I'll give myself a B+ for this effort at wrapping it all up. It's OK, and the bow makes the present look pretty, but the best ideas are rarely so contained.
"It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season--like all the other seasons--is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them." Lemony Snicket, The Lump of Coal (Perhaps the best holiday book of 2010)
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