Scratching the Devotional Itch

These first few weeks of teaching have thrown me off my yoga game. I've made it to a studio class a handful of times, but sparsely enough that a few of the regulars asked where I'd been. I've even been on hiatus from yoga instructing because the center where I teach closes down just before Labor Day for annual cleaning and repair. I have felt the lack. Hatha yoga is a physical practice. I'm not embarrassed to admit that often it is primarily a physical practice for me. Coming from someone who largely ignored her body for the first 40 years of life, getting physical equaled getting "spiritual" or tuning in to my life. It taught me through the asanas not to run away from life through daydreams or over-analysis. I'm still analytical, but not solely so. I have a body and it works. This is why I can feel satisfied in a class that plays Led Zeppelin or Rage Against the Machine just as easily as one with Om Nama Shivaya playing in the background. I've even been skeptical of some classes that need to depend on the ancient sounding Indian music to give it some sort of legitimacy. I may have fooled myself a little into thinking that was all. This afternoon I returned to the studio looking for mostly a good sweat. However, I entered the room and some of that Indian music was playing and my heart did a little flip of excitement. I was in for yoga and then some. Aha! My little ghost cat laughed. You do have a bhakti side after all. All right, already. Sue me. I haven't experienced samadhi or anything, but yes, there is that simple joy of being/moving/breathing and the music brought it on.  It's just hard to talk or write about without sounding stupid. Nevertheless, yoga satisfies my itch for devotion.

I was worried, though, that yoga, my spurned lover, would be withholding. My body might creak, my bhandas might not do their thing. Well, not tonight. Yoga welcomed me back with sweet warmth and ease of movement. My bhandas were happy to see me again and I felt light, present, and alive. Amazing grace, indeed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.